Gopi's Story

I was 11 when my father left me at the ashram outside our village. No school, no fees, just - "Baba will take care."

Baba looked at my thin body, soft face, small height.

He said, "Baalo ko mat kaatna. Jata banane de. Bhagwan ka prasad hai."

So I didn't.

My life became one repeat.

4 am wake up. Cold water bath from the well. Meditation in hall. Sweeping the courtyard. Serving tea to old devotees. Washing Baba's clothes. Cooking dal, roti, sabzi - full satwik, no onion garlic, no oil.

No mirror in ashram. Only one small steel plate to see face.

We all wore same thing - one long orange cloth, wrapped around waist, then over shoulder. Ladies came, gents came, everyone same orange. No pant shirt difference.

Years went like that.

Satwik food, no junk, daily oiling with amla oil for jata, no cutting, no trimming. My body stayed small. Height only 5.5. Face soft, no beard because Baba said clean shave for brahmachari. Skin smooth because only dal chawal and ghee. Hair... hair became my identity.

By the time I turned 18, my jata was till below hips. Thick, matted, heavy, but long. When I walked, it swung behind like a tail. Devotees used to say, "Chote Baba ki jata dekho."

I never thought if it was boy hair or girl hair. In ashram, it was just hair.

Then one night, everything broke.

We all ate kheer after evening aarti. Next morning I didn't wake up. No one woke up.

Police came. Baba was caught. He was mixing something in food, doing wrong practices with devotees donations and other things. I didn't understand fully, I was still dizzy.

All of us sadhaks, boys and girls both, were sent to a government rehab and care center outside city. We were still half unconscious.

I remember only being carried.

When I woke up first time properly, my head felt... light.

Too light.

My scalp was tingling, like cold air on it.

For 7 years my head was always heavy because of jata weight. Now it was light.

I raised hand slowly, still weak from that dose.

My fingers didn't find rough matted rope.

They found... soft.

Silky. Smooth. Long strands slipping between fingers.

Someone had washed my jata. Opened it. Cleaned years of oil, dust, knots. Restored its real texture.

I sat up.

Then I felt cloth.

Not my orange wrap.

Something soft around waist, pleated. Something on shoulder falling.

I looked down.

Dark green? No, this was pink and cream saree. Pleats neatly made. Pallu over shoulder. Small pink blouse.

I got scared. I tried to stand. My legs got stuck in pleats.

I walked to the mirror in that rehab hall.

And I stopped.

There was a girl standing in mirror.

Long, thick, black hair, not jata now, open, silky, waist length, one loose braid over front shoulder. Small bindi on forehead. Small face, 5.5 height, soft, no beard. Pink saree, pallu covering chest.

I just stared.

Who is she?

I lifted hand to touch bindi.

She lifted hand.

I stepped back, saree rustled.

My steps small because pleats held.

My mind was still slow from medicine, but one thought came clear -

My hair... my hair is looking like a girl's hair now.

A nurse came from behind.

She said, "Arre uth gayi tu? Good. Dekho saree theek hai? Long hair wali sabko saree pehnaya, tumhara baal sabse lamba tha toh tumhe ye wali di."

She said it so normally, like I am a girl.

I wanted to say I am a boy from ashram.

But my voice was dry, and my head was spinning, and the girl in mirror was still looking at me.

That day they made all long hair girls sit in line, oiling hair, making braids. I was in that line. My turn came. That didi made my hair into a loose thick braid, put a small black rubber band.

She said, "Tumhare baal kitne silky hai, jata me se nikle hai kya?"

I just nodded. I didn't know how to explain.

Next day morning, big hotel company came for hiring.

They wanted female front office staff, receptionist girls for their new hotel near station. Good pay, stay inside staff quarters, food.

Madam with file came to our ward.

She saw me sitting in saree, long loose braid over shoulder, small height, soft face, pink bangles they gave in rehab.

She said, "She is perfect. Reception me achhi lagegi, guests ko smile karegi."

I looked at nurse.

Nurse said, "Haan ye kal se hi saree me hai, shy hai thodi but theek hai."

Madam came to me and said in English, "What is your name?"

I said... my ashram name was Gopal. But Gopal in pink saree with loose braid?

I paused.

If I say I am a boy, they will send me back. My family is not here, village is 200 km, ashram is sealed by police. Rehab will keep me 10 more days then leave on road. No work, no stay, no money, no hair cut even because I have no money.

If I stay as I am... good pay, room, food, new life where no one knows Gopal.

I looked down at my saree pleats, at my pink nails they painted yesterday for all girls, at my loose braid over shoulder.

I said, very slowly, in low voice,

"Gopi..."

Madam smiled, wrote Gopi on list.

She said, "Gopi, you are selected for receptionist training from tomorrow. Pack your saree."

That was the moment I didn't go back.

That night I slept in that same pink saree, braid open on pillow, hair still smelling like the coconut oil they used to clean my jata. For first time in 7 years, I was not wearing orange cloth. I was wearing a saree. And someone had hired me because I looked like a girl.

And honestly... I didn't hate it.

Two days after that hotel madam wrote my name, doctor came to rehab with reports.

He called all of us, boys and girls separate.

He said, "Ashram ka Baba koi ayurvedic dawai ke naam pe tablets de raha tha. Lab me check hua toh wo estrogen type hormone nikla. That's why boys me facial hair nahi aaya, body soft ho gayi, chest pe halka bulge."

Everyone looked at each other. I touched my chest. Yes, there was a very small soft bulge, I thought it was because I am thin, but it was because of that tablet.

Rehab staff didn't know. They just saw long hair, small height, soft face, no beard, pink saree, loose braid - they thought I am a weak, flat chest girl.

One didi said, "Koi baat nahi, accha khayegi toh health ban jayega."

No one checked beyond that. I was already on the girls list.

Hotel bus came next morning. I had only one bag, that pink saree and one more green saree they gave. I kept my jata now silky hair open, then made a loose braid like they taught.

We reached staff building. Big building, girls hostel type. One room, three girls.

My roommates - Pooja was first. 22 years old, from Nagpur, already working as receptionist for 8 months. Short hair, jeans and kurti, full city girl.

She saw me in saree with big bag.

She said, "Hi, you are new? Gopi? I am Pooja."

I said, "Yes, Gopi."

She said, "Your hair is so long yaar, real hai?"

I said, "Yes, ashram se."

She helped me set my bed. She said, "Yahan room me we change in front of each other, no tension, all girls only."

That line made my heart fast. All girls only, but I am not.

I smiled, "Okay."

That evening I understood my problem. I was selected as flat chest girl, but in uniform they give, blouse is tight. If I bend, my small chest bulge will show almost flat. And in room, while changing saree, if someone sees my body fully, they will know.

I went to city market that same day, near station. Ladies shop.

I asked, "Silicon wale fillers hai jo saree blouse me shape deta hai?"

Shop lady gave me two silicon bra fillers, soft, skin color, and said, "Ye skin safe glue se chipak jata hai, daily nikalna nahi padta, 4-5 din tak rehta hai if you use this medical tape type glue."

I didn't ask more. I bought it. Cost was high, but my joining advance money was there.

Night, when Pooja went to canteen, I locked bathroom and tried first time.

I wore it inside blouse, with that long hold glue. It sat on my small bulge and made proper round shape, blouse stretch hua. When I wore saree over it, pallu fell properly, chest line visible, not flat anymore.

I looked in mirror. Now I looked like other girls.

Problem was sharing room. Pooja and another girl, Anjali, they change directly in room. I started changing in bathroom. Pooja noticed.

She said, "Gopi, bathroom me kyun? Yahan hi change kar le, we all do."

I said, "Thoda shy hu, ashram se aayi na."

She said, "Okay, okay, take your time."

She was nice. She started teaching me girly things without asking - how to pin saree properly so pleats don't open, how to make braid tight for duty, which bindi suits, how to apply light kajal for reception.

She said, "Hotel me grooming compulsory hai, kal se training start hai. Saree, makeup, hair, everything."

Next morning 9 am, training hall.

All new girls in saree, same uniform - cream and maroon border saree.

Manager came and said,

"From tomorrow you are front face of hotel. Guest first sees you. So walk straight, smile, namaste, hair neat, saree pressed, no loose pin."

He looked at me and said, "Gopi, your hair is your asset, but make neat braid, gajra daily."

Pooja whispered, "See, madam already likes you."

Training started. How to greet, how to say "Welcome to Hotel Grand Palace", how to hold register, how to make entry.

I was sitting in front row, in cream maroon saree, long braid with small gajra Pooja gave, light kajal, my silicon shape secure under blouse, pleats tight around my small body.

For first time after ashram orange cloth, I was learning to be a receptionist - as a girl.

And my secret was safe, till now.

Our trainer was Mrs. Lata. 40 years, ex air-hostess. She said on first day,

"Hotel ko ladkiyan nahi, perfect girls chahiye. Obedient, soft, sweet, smiling, beautiful and alive. Chahe gaon se aayi ho ya city se, yahan sab same."

And it was true. In our batch of 12 girls, some were full boyish - short hair, loud laugh, sitting with legs open. Some were rough in speaking, "Arre idhar aa" type. Some had no idea how to wear saree, pallu gir jata tha. I was the most shy, because for me everything was new, but also easy because my body was already soft from ashram.

Day 1 and 2 - Body and hair grooming

First lesson was not reception, it was bath.

Mrs. Lata said, "Daily hair wash nahi, but oiling and combing must. Long hair is your jewellery."

She taught us how to wash long hair, condition, how to make tight neat braid, low bun, gajra pinning. How to keep nails clean, pink polish, small bindi daily.

I sat with my long silky hair open, which was till hips now after jata cleaning. Other girls were seeing - "Itni lambi kaise?" I just said ashram se. When she made my braid, tight and thick, going below waist, with white gajra, I felt different. In ashram I had jata tied up. Now it was a proper girls braid over saree blouse.

She taught waxing, lotion. I already had smooth body from ashram satwik food and hormone tablets, so my legs and arms were already smooth. I felt normal among girls for first time.

Day 3 - Saree draping

This was hardest for others. For me also new, but I was already wearing saree for 3 days.

Mrs. Lata taught - petticoat tight on waist, not loose. Saree tuck, pleats - 5 pleats, equal, pin in middle. Pallu - one meter, pin on shoulder, not falling.

She said, "Pallu is your respect. And blouse tight, but not vulgar."

We practiced walking in saree, without holding pleats. Some girls were tripping. I was also slow, but Pooja held my hand and said, "Gopi, chote steps, chote."

When I walked in that cream maroon saree, with my silicon shape secure under blouse, pallu pinned, braid swinging behind, I felt... my walk changed. In ashram I walked fast, big steps. Now steps were small, soft, hips slight move because of saree.

Mrs. Lata said to me, "Gopi, you have natural grace. Very girly."

I smiled. Inside I was thinking - I am actually doing it as a girl, and no one doubted.

Day 4 - Face and makeup

Light makeup only - kajal, bindi, light pink lipstick, compact.

Some girls were doing dark lipstick, she wiped and said, "Receptionist is sweet, not bold."

She put kajal on me. My eyes were already big, soft. With kajal and bindi, I looked fully girl.

She taught how to smile - not full teeth, soft close mouth smile, eyes also smiling.

We practiced in mirror - "Welcome to Hotel Grand Palace" with smile.

I said it, with my soft voice which became more soft after hormone effect, and with saree pallu on shoulder, braid front.

Mrs. Lata said, "Perfect, very obedient voice."

I felt a small change inside - I started liking when she said perfect girl.

Day 5 - Speaking soft

This was for boyish girls. She made them say same sentence 20 times - softly, slowly.

"Please wait, sir will come."

No shouting, no "Aye sun". Soft, sweet.

She made us practice namaste - hands joined, slight head down, with smile.

I practiced that namaste many times. Saree pallu slightly falling forward when I bend head, braid coming front over shoulder. I started doing it automatically.

Day 6 - Obedience and manners

How to stand when guest comes, how to offer water, how to bend slightly while giving file, how to say "Ji sir, ji mam" even if guest is rude.

Mrs. Lata said, "Girl who argues is not beautiful. Girl who listens with smile is alive."

We all practiced sitting - legs joined, saree pleats covering, not open like boys. I was already used to it because if I open legs in saree, my secret would be problem, so I always kept legs joined. Now it became habit.

Pooja whispered, "You sit like ideal girl yaar, I always forget."

I felt proud, in a girly way.

Day 7 - Final test

All 12 girls in same uniform saree, gajra, makeup, standing in line.

Mrs. Lata and hotel GM came.

They checked each - nails, hair, saree pin, smile, namaste, voice.

When my turn came, I did namaste, said, "Welcome to Hotel Grand Palace, how can I help you, mam?" with soft smile, braid front, pallu set.

GM said, "She is ready. Put her on main reception from tomorrow."

After 7 days, I looked at myself in mirror that night in room.

Before training - I was just a boy with long hair in saree, scared.

After 7 days - my hair was always neat braid with gajra, bindi daily, pink nails, kajal, soft voice, small steps walk, legs joined sit, sweet smile habit, saying "Ji" always.

Pooja said, "Gopi, tu toh humse bhi zyada ladki lag rahi hai now. Full perfect girl."

I didn't reply, but inside I felt something change. I was not pretending to be soft, sweet, obedient. I was actually becoming soft, sweet, obedient. My ashram body, plus this training, plus silicon shape which I checked daily in bathroom to stay secure, all combined - I was blending fully.

Training khatam, but my new life as a receptionist girl was starting tomorrow.

My first week on main reception started and slowly my whole morning to night changed into a fixed pattern, like ashram time but full girly now.

I wake at six, before Pooja and Anjali. My first work is not phone, not brush, my hair. My hair is till below hips now, thick and silky after jata cleaning, if I don't tie it nicely whole day it will tangle and get stuck in saree pallu or chair. So I sit on edge of bed, comb from bottom to top, very slowly, otherwise hair breaks. Little oil only on ends, then I make a tight three-part braid, not loose, tight so it stays full day. Then I roll a small white gajra on top of braid. My braid is so long that when I sit on reception chair it touches the seat, so I have habit now to bring it front over left shoulder, over my pallu, it stays there like part of uniform. Pooja once said while sleeping, Gopi you give more time to hair than we give to full makeup, and I just laughed and said ashram me jata ko bhi daily time dena padta tha, habit hai.

After hair, saree. Our uniform is cream with maroon border, maroon blouse. I tie petticoat first, double knot tight on waist, because if petticoat loose, whole saree will fall when you walk fast. Then one full round tuck, then five pleats, I count in mind every day one two three four five, then pin in middle with a big safety pin. Then pallu, one meter, pin on left shoulder and one more small pin in middle of blouse so even if I bend to give room key, pallu doesn't fall. In first two days my pallu was falling again and again, but now I know the trick. My blouse shape is already set because of silicon fillers with long hold tape, so I don't need to adjust, only check in morning mirror if line proper.

Then makeup, only ten minutes. Small bindi, because my forehead is small, thin kajal line, light pink lipstick, compact. Mrs. Lata told us reception girl should look alive, not plastic, smile should be real with eyes. So I practice smile in small mirror, namaste with joined hands, slight head down, braid coming front when I bend.

By seven thirty we go to canteen in full saree. Eating in saree was also learning. Pallu should not touch plate, so I hold pallu with left hand while eating with right. Pooja and Anjali eat fast, but I eat slowly, setting pleats first on lap, then legs joined, then plate.

Eight sharp I am on main desk. Welcome to Hotel Grand Palace with joined hands, that line I said hundred times in one week. Check-in entry, ID copy, room key giving. In starting when I bent to give key, pallu was slipping, but now I know if you want to bend, hold pallu with left hand, give file with right hand, pleats never open. If file falls on floor, I don't bend like boys, I sit slightly down with knees together, pick file, stand, saree stays. Stairs in hotel, I have to go to first floor sometimes to call guest, I lift pleats slightly with left hand, small steps, braid on front, right hand on railing.

My long hair became my identity in hotel also. Some guests say your hair is very long, real hai, and I just say thank you sir softly with smile, what Pooja taught. When fan is full speed on reception, my braid swings, I hold it with hand. When I go to back office to bring water bottle, I put braid in front, so it doesn't get stuck in door. When I sit four hours continuously on reception chair, I don't put braid behind, I put it on side of chair, otherwise it presses and head pains.

By third fourth day, all new girls started coming to me. Seema who was full boyish, sitting legs open, now she saw me always sitting legs joined, saree covering, she started doing same and said Gopi your sitting style is so girl like. Anjali whose pleats always opened, she said Gopi meri pleats bana de, teri perfect rehti hai whole day. Pooja whose braid opened in afternoon, she said tu tight braid kaise karti hai, sikhade. I started making their pleats, fixing their pallu pins, tightening their braids before shift. Mrs. Lata saw one day and said in front of all, see Gopi, she is most junior but most perfect, learn from her how to carry long hair with saree.

Inside I felt a different thing. One month back I was Gopal in orange cloth with heavy jata, walking fast, big steps. Now I am Gopi who can handle saree, long braid, makeup, in any situation - running, sitting, bending, eating, climbing stairs, without anything falling. My small height 5.5, soft body, no beard, long hair, plus this daily routine, it made me look more natural girl than even those girls who were born as girls but still boyish.

Sunday evening came, my first weekend end. We had half day. Morning shift I did, then free after lunch. Pooja said chal Gopi weekend pe mall chalte hai, saree nahi kurti pehente hai. I said mere paas kurti nahi, only saree hai. She said my kurti le le, you are my size only. I came back to room, opened my small cupboard, my side only two uniform sarees and one pink saree from rehab, and my blouses with shape inside taped. I looked at mirror, my braid with gajra, bindi small, pink lips, cream maroon saree pleats perfect. One week back I was scared to change in front of girls, now I am the girl from whom all girls learn how to be perfect girl.

And tomorrow was my first full weekend off, first time going out not in uniform saree but in normal kurti, as Gopi outside hotel also.

Sunday evening came and Pooja said no uniform today, today we go like normal girls.

She gave me her clothes, a tight black kurti, short, with small mirror work on neck, and loose light blue jeans, full Gen Z type. She said Gopi your size same as mine, this will fit you perfect. I went to bathroom to change, because I still change in bathroom only. I removed my uniform saree, pleats, petticoat, and wore that kurti jeans. Kurti was tight on top, fitting on my shape which was already set, and jeans loose down, so comfortable. Then hair, Pooja said today no braid, open hair. She took my long thick hair, combed, made a small clutch at back, half up half down, my hair open till hips behind, front two strands left loose near face. She put small jhumka in my ears, same pink lipstick, bindi small. When I saw in mirror, I was shocked. No saree, no gajra, no pleats. I was looking like a young college girl, maybe nineteen twenty, full Gen Z girl going to mall. In saree I looked like receptionist didi, in kurti jeans I looked like young girl.

We three, Pooja, Anjali and me, went to mall near station by auto. Auto me I sat in middle, jeans me legs joined still habit, hair open flying, clutch holding. Mall me full lights, AC, music.

First we went to girls wear shop. Anjali was trying tops, Pooja was seeing jeans, I was just standing in front of mirror with my open hair, clutch behind, kurti tight jeans loose. Shop girl said di your kurti suits you, you want same in other colour. I smiled and said no di, just seeing. We tried earrings, bangles, small bindis. I tried a long silver jhumka, Pooja said Gopi this suits your long hair, open hair me and jhumka perfect hai. We took photos in trial room mirror, three of us, making pout, peace sign, all girly poses.

Then we went to food court, had pani puri, cold coffee, ice cream. We sat and gossip like girls do, who is cute in hotel staff, which guest was rude, which manager is strict. I was talking fully like them, laughing, hand on mouth, saying haan yaar sachi. In between I totally forgot that one month back I was Gopal in orange cloth with jata. I was just Gopi now, in tight kurti loose jeans, open hair with clutch, eating ice cream with girls.

Then we were walking near big brands, two boys, maybe college boys, they were staring at us, specially at me because my hair was longest in mall. One boy came near and said excuse me, photo please, and Pooja laughed and said no no. We walked ahead but those boys still looked back. Anjali whispered, dekha Gopi, tere ko dekh rahe the, teri kurti aur baal ke wajah se. I felt my face hot, I touched my open hair, clutch behind, and I felt shy, but inside I liked it. First time in life boys were staring at me as a girl, and I was liking that attention, not scared. In ashram no one stared, in rehab no one stared, but today in mall boys staring and I was feeling special.

We did full girly time, nail paint shop me pink shade choose kiya, hair accessories me new clutch liya, small cute clips. I bought one pink silk night suit also, Pooja said night me saree nahi, ye pehen.

We came back to room at nine, auto me again my open hair flying.

Night, lights off, Pooja and Anjali sleeping. I was on my bed, silk pillow under head, my new pink silk nightwear, soft, smooth on skin. My open hair spread on pillow, clutch removed, hair full open around me, silky feeling on pillow. I was thinking to myself, on bed, touching my kurti which I kept on chair now, my jeans.

I thought, wow what a life. One month back I was in orange cloth, heavy jata, no mirror, no smile, only dal chawal. Now I am in tight kurti loose jeans, open hair with clutch, mall me boys dekh rahe the, girls learning saree from me, reception me perfect girl award. This soft life, this curvy life, not body curvy but life curvy, soft bedsheet, silk nightwear, silk pillow, soft voice, sweet smile, bindi, jhumka, all soft.

I fell in love with this softness. I don't want to go back to orange cloth ever. I want to stay Gopi only, this young girl in kurti jeans with open hair. I slept touching my long hair spread on silk pillow, smiling.

That night I was lying on my bed after mall, lights dim, Pooja and Anjali already asleep, and I was awake with my new pink night suit on, the fabric was that slippery shiny type which was sliding on skin whenever I moved. My head was on that silk pillow, and my hair was fully open now, no clutch, no braid, just spread all around on the pillow, some strands on my neck, some on my shoulders, some falling on the bedsheet.

I was looking at the ceiling and thinking what changed. In ashram my body was straight, hard, thin, no shape, orange cloth always rough and loose. Now when I touch my own arms under this night suit, skin feels like cream, smooth, almost like the pillow cover itself. And with the shape I wear daily inside, my upper body has that round fullness where kurti used to fit tight today, where blouse used to sit in uniform, where pallu used to fall. My lower body where saree pleats sit, where jeans sat loose today but still line visible. That fullness where needed, that gentle volume, it was not there before, now it is there, and it makes every dress fall differently. Saree drapes over it, kurti hugs it, night suit glides over it, even my inners which are new soft cotton ones sit comfortably.

All my clothes now are like that only, light, smooth, easy on skin. Uniform saree in day was cotton silk, this night suit is silky, the kurti I wore today was soft cotton, inners also cotton soft. Nothing itches, nothing scratches. Everything just moves with body.

My hair is also part of that feeling now, earlier jata was heavy and tangled, now after wash it is like a smooth sheet behind me, long till below waist, when I move head it slides on back. Today in mall when I kept half up with clutch, the open part was swinging till hips, and I was holding it again and again without thinking, like a habit girls have.

I was lying there, one hand playing with hair ends spread on pillow, other hand resting on my night suit, feeling how the fabric was loose but still following the lines of my body, how bindi was still on my forehead even at night because I forgot to remove, how my jhumkas were on table but ears still felt light, how my lips had that light pink shade still, how my voice in my mind was now that soft welcome tone from reception.

That whole feeling, that delicate, rounded, silken, easy feeling of being dressed like this, of having a body that fits into these clothes, of having hair that long, I started liking it too much. I thought I don't want that orange wrap back, I don't want to tie jata again. I want to stay like this only, as Gopi, the girl who went to mall today in tight kurti and loose jeans, open hair with clutch behind, who was stared at, who ate ice cream with friends, who now sleeps on this shiny pillow with hair open all around, feeling this new shape and this new lightness. I turned side, hair fell forward, night suit slipped a little on shoulder, and I fell asleep like that only, smiling, hand still in hair.

That new guest came on Monday around eleven, business type. I was on main desk, my cream maroon saree pleats set, braid with gajra front over shoulder, small bindi, light kajal, I did my usual welcome to hotel grand palace with joined hands.

He was tall, maybe twenty seven twenty eight, light blue shirt sleeves folded till elbow, laptop bag on shoulder, clean shave, hair neatly set, Delhi ID. Name Rohan. Three days booking for business meetings.

I gave him key and he stood for a second extra and said your hair is really long, I have never seen such length, and went to lift. Pooja next to me whispered, dekha, first look me hi line maar diya usne.

That whole first day he kept coming to reception without reason. Once for wifi password which was already written on key cover, once for restaurant timing which was on board behind me, once for printout of two pages, once just for water bottle. Every time he was finding a small talk, you are new here, how long you work, your voice is very soft, where are you from. I was replying only ji sir, yes sir, thank you sir, with that small smile Mrs Lata taught, because inside I was scared, if he comes close he will know my story and then full hotel will know.

Evening shift ended and I went to room, Pooja and Anjali already started. Anjali said Gopi that Delhi guest was only talking to you, he didn't even look at me. Pooja said he is handsome also, rich, decent, not like cheap guests, you should talk properly, why you do only ji sir. I said you don't know, my situation different hai, I can't do this. Pooja said what situation, you are a girl, he is liking a girl, itna sochti kyun hai, life enjoy kar, aisa chance roz nahi milta reception pe.

Second day he put more effort. Morning he came down with two coffees from outside cafe, kept one on side of my desk and said I was getting for me, thought you also must be bored on morning shift, have one. I said sorry sir we are not allowed to have coffee on desk, manager will see. He said okay then after your shift, five minutes in lobby, I will wait. I said I will see but I didn't go. Then afternoon he came again for printout, stood near desk for long, just watching me type, saying you type very fast with long nails. Then evening he was sitting in lobby sofa just opposite reception, laptop open but he was looking at me only, not screen. Whenever I looked up, he smiled.

I was ignoring but my heart was beating fast every time he came. He was actually cute, tall, fair, handsome, soft spoken, not like boys who stare badly, his stare was like liking.

At night in room again girls started same talk. Pooja said Gopi tu pagal hai, two days ho gaye, he is putting full effort, coffee lana, bahana banana, lobby me wait karna, any boy will not do that for receptionist, he is really fallen for you. Anjali said haan and you also like him, we see your face when he comes, you become red, you touch your braid again and again. I said I do like him, he is cute, but if I go close my secret will be out. Pooja said koi secret nahi hai, you are perfect girl, more girl than us, even we learn saree from you, what will he know, just go for coffee tomorrow, last day hai uska.

Two days gone like that, his efforts daily and my no.

On third day morning, which was his last day checkout, I woke early, did my hair tight braid with gajra, saree perfect, but in mind I decided. I went to manager before shift and said sir can I get half day leave today, personal work. Manager said okay because my first week was perfect and no complaint.

Manager said okay because my first week was perfect and no complaint.

I came back to room at eleven only, half day leave approved for afternoon. Pooja and Anjali were on lunch break, they saw me coming back early and said what happened, why you are back. I said I took half day, for Rohan, today is his last day tomorrow he leaves.

Both jumped from bed, Pooja said finally, finally our Gopi is going on date. Anjali said chal we will ready you, you can't go in uniform saree like reception didi, you have to go like girlfriend.

They opened my small cupboard, took that tight black kurti with mirror work and loose jeans which I wore on Sunday, same one in which Rohan saw me in lobby and said you look different. Pooja said today open hair only, no braid, half clutch behind, that college girl look. They made me sit, combed my long hair which was till below hips, made half up with that small clutch I bought from mall, front two strands left near face, long open behind. Small jhumka, same pink lipstick but a little more today, small bindi, pink nail polish already there. Anjali put a little perfume from her bottle on my neck.

I was looking in mirror, I was looking like a young girl going for first date, not receptionist. My heart beating fast, hands cold.

I knew Rohan was in his room, room number 204, because I did his check-in entry. I took my small sling bag, phone, and went out. I was walking in hotel corridor in kurti jeans, open hair swinging till hips, clutch behind, feeling every staff seeing me but no one stopping because I was on leave.

I knocked on 204, he opened door in t-shirt and track pant, laptop on bed, and he was surprised to see me like that, not in saree. I said in soft voice, if you are free lets go out today, you are leaving tomorrow, I took half day.

He smiled big and said I was thinking you will never talk properly, and now you yourself came to my room. He changed quickly to shirt jeans, we came down.

Outside hotel his friend's car was there, he had taken for his business trip. He said lets go for long drive, sunset point near lake is nice. I sat on front seat, my long open hair flying with window air, clutch still holding half hair, kurti tight on top, jeans loose.

Drive was long, maybe forty minutes, music slow, we talked less, just looking outside. Sunset spot was there, many couples around, sitting on benches, some eating corn, some taking photos. We sat on a bench side, lake in front, sun going down orange. He bought two corn, we ate, my hair was flying and he said your hair is so long, can I touch, I said yes slowly and he touched my open hair ends softly.

Sun set full, sky pink, couples around holding hands, we were also sitting close. He held my hand first, I didn't pull, my hand small and soft in his big hand. Then he put hand around my shoulder, my head went to his shoulder, my long hair fell over his arm.

After sunset we went to street food stall near lake, ate pani puri, I ate with small bites like Pooja taught, he was laughing saying you eat so slowly like a girl, I said I am girl only.

Around eight we came back to hotel, but he said my room is empty, come sit for five minutes, then you go to your staff room. I knew girls will tease but I said okay.

Room 204, AC on, light dim, his bag packed half for tomorrow checkout. We sat on bed edge, he was looking at me, I was looking down, my open hair front over shoulders, kurti tight, clutch behind.

Then he slowly held my face and kissed me. First small kiss on lips, then again, then intense kissing, both of us holding each other, my hands on his shirt, his hands on my back over kurti, my long hair falling forward over both of us. We were kissing for long time, no rush, just holding, breathing fast, stopping and again. No more than that, only kissing, no sex.

After that we were tired, we lay on bed only, I was on his chest, his arms around me, my long open hair spread on his shirt and pillow, my kurti still on, his shirt still on, cuddling, talking slowly about tomorrow, about his Delhi, about my village, about my hair.

I slept there only that night in his room, cuddling on his chest, my hair open spread on his bed, my clutch fell somewhere on pillow, his hand on my back, my head on his shoulder, both sleeping like couple, no sex, only kissing and cuddling whole night.

Next day morning checkout ten am, I woke up in his room only, same tight kurti loose jeans, open hair fully spread on his pillow and on his chest, clutch fallen near lamp, jhumka tilted, lipstick faded. He was already awake, playing with my hair ends and said, "You look so cute when you sleep with open hair, Gopi, I kept seeing whole night."

I got up fast and said, "I have to go, Pooja will shout, I am in same clothes from yesterday," and ran to staff room in same kurti jeans, open hair messy.

Door opened and Pooja and Anjali both sat on bed and looked at me. Pooja said, "Dekho madam aayi, dekho Anjali, full night gayab, wonderful night tha lagta hai, kurti same, hair open, lipstick kahan gaya tera?"

Anjali laughed and said, "Gopi sach bata, raat bhar kahan thi, room me nahi aayi, phone bhi nahi uthaya, gajra kahan hai tera?"

I kept my bag and said, "Kuch nahi yaar, bas late ho gaya," but my face was full red and smile not stopping.

I changed to uniform saree, made tight braid with gajra front over shoulder, small bindi, and went downstairs. At reception I did his checkout, he gave key and said in low voice, "I will call you tonight, Gopi, pakka." I wanted to hold his hand but only did namaste and said, "Thank you sir, safe journey," with wet type eyes. That goodbye was hard.

After he left Delhi, my phone started same day. First message after two hours only, Rohan wrote, "Reached Delhi, missing your long hair already, your kurti look still in my mind, that clutch behind."

I replied, "Safe journey sir."

He replied, "Sir mat bolo yaar, Rohan bolo, I am not your guest now."

Evening first call, he said, "What did you eat in canteen?" I said, "Dal chawal only." He said, "I also ate same in Delhi office canteen but without you it was boring, I kept seeing your braid only in mind."

Morning daily, message, "Good morning Gopi, have you made your tight braid today, send photo na." I would send mirror photo in cream maroon saree, braid with gajra front, and he would reply, "You look proper reception didi today, but I like you more in kurti jeans open hair, that Gen Z look."

Night, "Good night, have you removed your bindi or still on? Open your hair at night na, I like open." I would reply, "Bindi still on, I forgot to remove, hair now I will open."

Then video calls started after one week. Ten at night he would call and we would talk till two three morning, not realising whole night passed.

One night video call, I was on my silk pillow, pink night suit on, hair open spread, and he said, "Show me your pillow where you sleep." I showed and he said, "Your hair is longer than my sister's, so silky yaar, how you manage?"

I said, "Daily comb from bottom, tight braid in morning, open at night, gajra in morning only."

He said, "When you fold your kurti sleeves you look so young, like college girl."

I said, "When you fold your blue shirt sleeves till elbow you look so handsome, I like that only."

One night chat around one am, he was on bed in Delhi, I was on my silk pillow, and he said, "Gopi I feel like you are mine only, like I have taken you, like you belong to me, I tell everyone I have girlfriend in Pune with long hair."

I said, "Same here, before I was alone in ashram, alone in rehab, now someone asks did you eat, did you sleep, where is your clutch, I feel like being someone's, being taken."

Pooja would hear my late night talks and next morning tease, Pooja would say, "Full night phone, first love ho gaya tujhe to, college wali feeling, whole night chat like teenagers."

One month this daily, calls, texts, chats, video calls, whole night talks, like first love.

Then one Sunday he said on call, "I am coming to Pune again, not for business, only for you."

He came Saturday evening, booked same room 204. I took half day again, Pooja ready me again in same tight black kurti loose jeans, open hair with clutch behind, small jhumka, bindi, perfume on neck. Pooja said, "Today he will propose pakka, see your face is glowing."

He took me to same sunset point near lake, same bench where couples sit, same corn stall. We were sitting close, my head on his shoulder, my long open hair over his arm, couples around holding hands.

He was holding my hand tight and said, "On call you say you are mine, on chat you send good night jaan, but officially you never said yes, you never said you are my girlfriend."

I said, "I said na I am yours."

He took out small box from pocket, silver ring inside, opened and said, "Gopi, will you be my girlfriend properly, my first love, will you be officially mine, will you say yes now?"

I looked at ring, at lake, at his face, my clutch holding half hair, open hair flying in wind, and I said, "Yes Rohan, I am yours, officially yours."