Rohan to Rohini
My name is Rohan Joshi. I am 26. I am from Nagpur.
I will tell you honestly, I was not a very confident boy growing up. Middle-class family. Father is a clerk in MSEB, mother is a housewife. One younger sister, Shweta. We grew up in a small 1BHK in Mahal. I was the typical studious, quiet boy. I did B.Com, then M.Com, then cleared my Inter CA - not final, just Inter. I was never the popular boy in college. I had two close friends, both boys.
When I got a job in Pune, in a mid-size logistics company in Baner as Junior Accounts Executive, my parents were very proud. First person from our family to move to a big city for a corporate job. I took a small PG in Wakad with 2 other boys.
I joined on 12th January. I remember the date because it was my first day in formals.
My department was on the 4th floor. When HR took me there, I thought there was some mistake.
Accounts department - 7 women and then me.
Mrs. Deshpande - our HoD, 48, strict but motherly. She wears cotton sarees every day.Nisha - 28, senior accountant, very bold, from Kolhapur, speaks her mind.Shruti - 25, my age, does payroll.Pooja - 24, doing CA Final, always studying.Anjali - 29, married, very funny.Fatima - 27, from Mumbra, quiet but very sharp.
And me. The 8th person. The only boy.
First one month, I made a rule for myself. I will keep distance. I had heard stories - "Don't be too friendly with girls in office, people will talk, HR will call you." So I came, said Good Morning, put on my boat earphones, opened Tally and Excel, and worked. I didn't go for their 11 am chai break. I ate lunch alone at my desk while they all ate together in the conference room.
I thought I was being professional. But slowly I understood I was just being isolated.
They had a world. At 11 am chai, they would laugh so loud that the IT guys next door would complain. They would talk about things I had no idea about - which brand of kurta doesn't shrink after wash, how to deal with a manager who stares, how to say no to relatives asking about marriage, how much a good tailor charges in Kothrud.
I am a boy from Nagpur. We never talked about these things at home. My mother and sister talked, but I was always told "You go play outside."
In February, I started feeling very alone. In office, alone. In my PG, my roommates were from IT, they had night shifts. On weekends, I would just watch YouTube in my room. Pune is a big city, but I had no one.
So I tried to join them. I removed my earphones during chai.
One day Shruti was upset because her tailor had ruined her blouse for her sister's wedding.
I said, trying to help, "Why don't you give it to another tailor?"
Everyone became quiet for 2 seconds. Then Nisha said politely, "Rohan, it's not about tailor."
I didn't understand then. Later Fatima explained to me privately - "They were not looking for a solution. She was just sad. She wanted us to say 'that tailor is stupid'."
That was my first lesson that being a part of a women's group is different. Boys are taught to fix. Girls are taught to listen.
I started learning to listen.
In March month-end, we were stuck till 9:30 pm. Heavy rain. All cabs cancelled. We ordered tiffin. Mrs. Deshpande made me also sit on the floor with them in the conference room. We ate bhakri thecha with our hands.
That night, for the first time, they talked openly in front of me. Anjali talked about how she got her first period during her 10th standard board exam and how scared she was. Pooja talked about how her mother doesn't allow her to go to the temple during periods.
I listened. And I told them, "My sister Shweta, she used to have very bad cramps. I used to think she was doing drama to bunk school. My mother used to scold me, but I never understood. Now I am feeling ashamed."
After I said that, something changed. Nisha looked at me and said, "At least you are accepting. Most men don't even do that."
From next day, I was officially part of their chai group. They would call me - "Rohan, chai." I would go. I would mostly listen, sometimes laugh. They would share their tiffin - sometimes thecha, sometimes puran poli.
But still, I was... separate. Like, I was invited to the house, but I didn't have a room in that house. When they talked about how the watchman stares at them when they come late, or how Sales boys whistle when they wear a new dress, or how they have to keep a stole in office because some clients stare - I could only sympathize. I could not understand. Because I had never felt it.
The idea came on Shruti's birthday. 15th April.
We cut cake. Pooja said jokingly, "Our department is Women's Day every day, poor Rohan is our diversity."
We all laughed. Then Anjali, who is always joking, said, "You know what, Rohan should be a girl. He is more girl than half the boys in this office. He listens, he cares, he doesn't make dirty jokes."
Everyone laughed again, but Mrs. Deshpande didn't laugh. She looked at me thoughtfully.
Later, after the cake, when I was washing plates in the pantry, Mrs. Deshpande, Nisha and Fatima were there.
Nisha said, "Rohan, serious question. Don't get offended."
I said, "No, bolo na."
She said, "You told us you feel alone, that you want to fit in. But as long as you are 'the boy in Accounts', you will always be a little outside. We want you inside. Fully. Next month, we have company Annual Day. Theme is Retro Bollywood Heroines. All of us are going as Sridevi, Madhuri. You will be left alone again in shirt pant."
Fatima said, "So we were thinking - what if for that day, you also become one of us? Wear a saree. Not as a joke for others. For us. So that you feel what we feel every day. The good and the bad. Then you will truly be one of Accounts."
My first reaction - my heart started beating fast. I am from a very simple family. In my family, boys don't wear saree even for fun. My father would be angry if he heard this.
I said, "I... I can't. People will laugh. Sales team will..."
Mrs. Deshpande interrupted me. She is HoD, so when she speaks, we listen.
She said, "Rohan, listen to me as your HoD, not as your auntie. I am 48. I have seen 100 boys like you come to Accounts. They all leave because they feel they don't belong. I don't want you to leave. You are sincere. Your work is good. This department is my family. I want you in my family.
This will be an official inclusion activity. I will mail HR. No one is allowed to laugh at you. If anyone does, I will handle them. And this is 100% your choice. If you say no, I will never bring this topic again. We will still have chai tomorrow. But if you say yes, we will do it with full respect. We will teach you. It will not be a costume. It will be a learning."
She said it so calmly, like she was approving my leave application.
Nisha said, "Rohan, think. You said you wanted to understand our life. This is chance. One day, you will know why we take 20 minutes to drape a saree, why we get tired, why we still wear it."
I was standing with a wet plate in my hand. My mind was blank. Part of me was scared - what if someone takes photo? What if it goes to my family?
But another part of me - the part that ate lunch alone for 3 months - that part was very tired of being alone.
I remembered how in college, I never got selected in group projects because I was too quiet.
I remembered how in this office, for the first time, someone was saying "We want you to be one of us."
I said in a very low voice, "If I say yes... you won't make fun of me? You will teach me properly? Like... like I am your sister?"
Fatima held my hand - she never did that before.
She said, "We will teach you like you are our younger sister. Promise."
Mrs. Deshpande nodded, "Tomorrow is Saturday, half day. After lunch, Accounts will be empty. Come. We will have your first trial. No one will be there."
I said, "Okay."
Just okay. But when I said okay, all three of them smiled like I had passed an exam.
That night I couldn't sleep in my PG. I was nervous, scared, but also... excited? I don't know the word. For the first time, I felt like I was going to belong somewhere in Pune.
Tomorrow was my first trial.
After I said "okay" on Friday, I didn't sleep.
Saturday was half-day. Office gets empty by 2 pm. At 1:30 pm, Mrs. Deshpande messaged on our Accounts group.
Mrs. Deshpande: Rohan, come to 4th floor conference room after 2:15. Don't tell anyone outside department.
I went. My hands were sweating.
Inside the conference room, they had locked the door and closed the blinds. On the big table, there were 2 bags.
Nisha, Fatima, Shruti and Mrs. Deshpande were there. Pooja and Anjali were on leave.
Nisha locked the door from inside.
Mrs. Deshpande said, "Rohan, before we start, I want to hear a yes from you again. No pressure."
I nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I want to try."
She said, "Good. Then from now, for next 3 weeks, you are our project. We will call you our behen."
Fatima opened the first bag. Inside was a maroon cotton saree, a petticoat, and a blouse.
"This is my old saree," Fatima said. "Cotton, easy to drape for beginners. Blouse is stretchable, so it will fit you."
I had never touched a saree before. My mother and sister wear it, but I never touched.
Nisha said, "First rule - saree is not costume. It's work. It takes patience."
Day 1 - The Draping:
They made me go to the attached washroom and change into the petticoat. That itself was strange for me. I am a 26-year-old boy who has worn only jeans and formal pants. Wearing a petticoat, tying that nada... I was fumbling.
Outside, Fatima was guiding, "Tie it tight, Rohan, otherwise saree will fall. On your navel."
I came out, wearing only petticoat and my t-shirt. I was so embarrassed, my face was red. But none of them laughed. Shruti said, "Good. Now see."
Mrs. Deshpande started draping. She tucked the saree in. "One tuck, flat. No pleats bunched." Then she made pleats. 6 pleats. Her hands were so fast. She tucked the pleats in.
Then the pallu. She put it on my left shoulder.
I looked in the glass of the conference room.
I couldn't recognize myself. A boy with short hair, mustache, wearing a maroon saree.
I started laughing nervously. "I look so..."
Nisha said, "You look like a new bride who doesn't know anything. Which is true."
They all laughed, but with me, not at me.
Then came the walking lesson. Mrs. Deshpande said, "You can't walk like you walk in pants. Small steps. Don't make noise. Hold pallu with left hand."
I tried to walk from one corner to other. I tripped on the saree in 3 steps. The petticoat was tight. My legs were hitting each other.
Fatima held my hand, "Slow. Like this."
We practiced for one hour. By the end, I was sweating in that cotton saree. My waist was hurting where the petticoat string was tied.
Mrs. Deshpande said, "See? This is what we do every day. 8 hours. In summer. Now you know why we complain when the AC doesn't work."
That hit me. I had always thought saree is easy.
Week 1 - The Daily Practice:
We made a routine. Every day after 6 pm, when Sales and IT left, I would stay back for 1 hour training in conference room.
Monday - Blouse practice. They brought 2-3 blouses. I had chest hair. Shruti said, "You will need to shave your chest, arms." I had never shaved my chest. That day I went home and for first time in my life, I shaved my chest and arms in my PG bathroom. My roommates knocked - "What are you doing so long?" I said stomach upset.
Tuesday - Petticoat and pleats. I learned to make pleats myself. It took me 40 minutes.
Wednesday - Pallu setting and pinning. Nisha taught me - "One pin on shoulder, one pin on pleats. Safety pins are women's best friends."
Thursday - Walking with saree, sitting on chair with saree, going to washroom with saree. Mrs. Deshpande taught me, "When you sit, take pleats in hand and sit slowly. Don't sit like boys."
My legs were paining from walking small steps.
Friday - First makeup trial. Fatima is good at makeup. She said, "Your face is good, but mustache... you have to shave clean."
I had a light mustache I was proud of. On Saturday, I shaved it off completely. Clean shave. My face looked younger, softer.
She applied moisturizer, then a light foundation. Then kajal. I had never had kajal. When she put kajal, my eyes watered.
She said, "Open eyes."
I opened. Shruti said, "Wow, Rohan, your eyes are actually big."
Then light lipstick. Pink shade.
When I looked in mirror, I got scared. I was not looking like Rohan in saree anymore. I was looking like... a girl. A simple girl.
I said, "Remove it, remove it."
Fatima removed it quickly. She understood. It was too fast for me.
Week 2 - Becoming Natural:
By second week, I could drape saree in 15 minutes without help. I could walk without tripping. I could sit, stand, take printouts, all in saree.
The girls started treating me differently. Not as Rohan the boy. They started calling me "Rohini" as a nickname during practice. First as joke, then it stuck.
Nisha would say, "Rohini, hold this file like this, pallu will fall."
I started responding to Rohini.
They taught me other things too - how to tie hair. I have short hair, so they bought a fake juda - hair bun extension. How to wear earrings - they made me wear small clip-on earrings, because I don't have piercing.
How to speak. Anjali said, "You speak very loudly like boys. Girls in office speak a little softer, because if we speak loudly we are called rude."
I started noticing all these small things they face daily that I never noticed.
One day Mrs. Deshpande brought a box of bangles. Red and white. She said, "Wear it. Get used to sound."
I wore bangles for 2 hours in conference room. Tak tak tak sound with every typing.
Week 3 - The Final Preparation:
Women's Day celebration was on Friday, 8th March. Our company had announced - All women can wear traditional, there will be program, award.
HR had officially mailed - "Accounts team is doing special inclusion performance - retro heroines."
Our theme was changed - from retro heroines to "Women of India" - so I could be included respectfully.
My final look was decided - Maroon cotton saree with golden border, maroon blouse, fake juda with gajra, small bindi, kajal, light pink lipstick, small jhumka earrings.
On 7th March, Thursday night, we had full dress rehearsal. Empty office.
I came at 7 pm. Full shave - face, chest, arms, legs. I wore the petticoat, blouse, saree myself - in 12 minutes. Perfect pleats. Pallu pinned.
Fatima did my makeup - foundation, kajal, eyeliner, bindi, lipstick. Shruti fixed my juda and gajra. Nisha made me wear jhumkas and bangles.
When I looked in the full-length mirror in the washroom, I froze.
There was no Rohan. There was a girl. A simple, middle-class Maharashtrian girl, like my sister would look if she worked in office.
I am telling you honestly - I didn't feel funny. I felt... calm. Like I had finally entered their circle. The loneliness of 6 months was gone.
Mrs. Deshpande came and saw me. She adjusted my pallu and said, "Rohini, you are ready. Tomorrow, you work full day as Rohini. Not Rohan. You will come in this look from morning, you will sit at your desk, you will do your GST filing, you will go for chai, you will attend the Women's Day function. Full day as a woman in this office. Are you ready?"
My voice was a little shaky. I said, "Ho, Ma'am."
She smiled, "Tomorrow, don't call me Ma'am. Call me Tai, like all girls do."
Nisha hugged me. "Welcome, Rohini. Officially one of us."
I went home that night in my boy clothes, but I carried the saree bag with me. My roommates didn't see. I kept looking at my phone - they had taken my photo - me as Rohini - and sent it on our private Accounts group.
They wrote - "Our new sister is ready."
For the first time, I slept without feeling alone in Pune.
Tomorrow was Women's Day. My first day as a full woman in office.
I woke up at 5:30 am on 8th March. I had not slept properly. Not from tension, but from excitement.
I had told my PG owner I am going for a drama practice in office.
I locked my PG room. Inside, I had already kept everything ready from yesterday.
First, full body shave. Face, neck, chest, arms, legs. Then shower.
Then the process I had practiced for 3 weeks.
Petticoat - tight knot. Then my maroon blouse. Fatima had given me padded blouse so it looks natural, not flat. Then saree. Today I draped it in 10 minutes. Perfect pleats, perfect pallu. Two safety pins - one on shoulder, one on chest pleats.
Then the bag with makeup.
I did not know much makeup, but Fatima had taught me step by step and written on paper:
Moisturizer
Small foundation
Kajal - thick line
Eyeliner - small wing
Bindi - small maroon
Lipstick - light pink
Juda - fake bun with gajra
I wore clip-on jhumkas. Red and white bangles.
When I looked in my small PG mirror, I was not Rohan. I was Rohini. A simple, 25-year-old girl from a middle-class family. No one could say I was a boy. My mustache was gone, my walk was small steps, my face was soft.
I took a cab. I usually take bike. But today I couldn't ride bike in saree. First lesson of being a woman in Pune - you spend more on cabs.
I reached office at 9:15 am. My heart was beating so fast.
Mrs. Deshpande was waiting at the gate. She was in red saree. When she saw me, she smiled.
She said loudly so the security could hear, "Rohini, you came? Good, good. First day?"
I understood. I said in soft voice, "Ho Tai, I am new intern."
Security made a new entry - "Rohini Joshi - Accounts Intern."
No one identified me. The security who salutes me every day as "Rohan sir" today said "Madam, sign here."
I went to 4th floor. My department was decorated with flowers for Women's Day.
Nisha, Shruti, Pooja, Anjali, Fatima - all in sarees. When they saw me, they all came.
Shruti whispered, "Rohan? Is that you? Oh my god you look... you look like a real girl."
Pooja said, "Shh, not Rohan. Rohini."
My desk - my own desk where I sit every day as Rohan - was empty today. On it, they had put a small name plate written by hand - "Rohini - Intern Accounts"
Mrs. Deshpande announced to the whole floor, "Everyone, this is Rohini, she has joined as intern for one month in Accounts. Rohan is on leave today. Rohini will sit on his desk."
IT boys, Sales boys came to see. No one doubted. One boy from Sales said, "Welcome Rohini, Accounts is lucky, all pretty girls."
I felt that comment. That comment boys give. That uncomfortable feeling when someone comments on your look, not your work. First time in my life, I felt it. I just smiled awkwardly, like girls do.
Morning Work:
I sat on my own chair, but as Rohini. I opened my laptop. I had to do GST reconciliation, same work I do as Rohan.
But everything felt different.
When I type in saree, pallu comes in between. I had to hold it with left hand and type with right. Bangles made sound - tak tak - every time I moved mouse.
When I went to take printout, I had to walk slowly, holding pallu. In pants, I used to walk fast, take 3 steps. Now in saree, small steps. I was conscious.
At 11 am, chai break. This was the break I always wanted to be part of, but never fully was.
Nisha called, "Rohini, chai?"
We 7 women went to pantry. For first time, I was not an outsider. I was inside.
They talked about Women's Day function. Anjali said, "My husband said don't wear too bright lipstick in office function, people will talk." Fatima said, "Same my brother said."
I, as Rohini, said without thinking, "Why should we listen?"
They all looked at me and laughed, "See, our Rohini is already feminist."
I felt light. Very light and cool. As Rohan, I always felt heavy - I have to be man, I have to be strong, I have to not cry, I have to keep distance. As Rohini, I didn't have to prove I am strong. I could just be. I could laugh loudly, I could hold Nisha's hand, I could complain about bangles breaking. No one would say "You are a boy, why are you doing this."
It was easy. Calm.
Afternoon:
Lunch - we all ate together in conference room. I sat on floor, managing saree like they taught me - pleats in hand, sit slowly. We shared tiffin. Anjali fed me a piece of puran poli with her hand, "Rohini, you are too thin, eat."
As Rohan, no one ever fed me with hand.
After lunch, we had to go to washroom to fix saree and makeup. I went with them to ladies washroom. First time in my life in ladies washroom in office. It was different - there was chatter, they were fixing each other's saree, sharing pins, sharing lipstick. One girl gave me her bindi - "Yours is coming off."
I fixed my saree looking in mirror with 6 other women. It felt normal. Like I belonged.
Women's Day Celebration - 3 pm:
Whole company gathered in big hall. 80 people. All women were in front, men behind.
HR head gave speech about women empowerment. Then Mrs. Deshpande was asked to speak as senior-most women HoD.
She said, "Today I want to introduce my new daughter, Rohini. She is intern, but she taught me that inclusion is not just giving holiday on Women's Day. Inclusion is when a person wants to understand a woman's life, we allow him... I mean her... to live it."
No one caught that slip.
Then there were games - musical chairs only for women. I participated. I was in saree, running for chair. Everyone cheered - "Rohini, Rohini!"
I won second prize - a small clutch.
Then ramp walk - theme Women of India. All women had to walk. When my turn came, as Rohini, I walked. Small steps, pallu in hand, just like Mrs. Deshpande taught me. When I walked, the whole hall clapped. Sales boys whistled - that same whistle that made me uncomfortable in morning, but today it felt like I was accepted.
One HR girl came after ramp and said, "Rohini, you walk so gracefully, are you trained dancer?"
I said, "No, my Tai taught me."
No one - I mean no one - identified I am Rohan. Not even the office boy who gives me chai every day. He said, "Madam, chai?" to me.
At 5:30 pm, program over. We came back to our floor. We were all tired. Saree is tiring. My waist was paining where petticoat was tied, my feet were paining because I wore small block heels Fatima gave.
But my mind was very calm. Very cool.
Mrs. Deshpande called us in conference room. She locked door.
She said, "Rohan... I mean Rohini, how was your day?"
I had tears in my eyes. I said, "Tai, I have worked 6 months in this company as Rohan. I was always tired at end of day. Today I worked full day as Rohini, in saree, in heels, in bangles... but I am not tired. I am light. I feel easy. I don't know why."
Nisha said, "Because today you didn't have to keep distance. You were one of us."
Fatima said, "So? Will you continue?"
I looked at them. At my saree, my bangles, my name plate "Rohini".
I said, "Can I? Can I work as Rohini for some more days? I don't want to go back to being alone Rohan."
Mrs. Deshpande smiled and said, "We already told HR you are intern for one month. Rohan is on long leave. You can be Rohini as long as you want. Let's see how long you can be our sister."
We all hugged. I hugged them as a girl hugs.
At 7 pm, I took a cab back to my PG, still as Rohini. In the cab, the driver kept looking in mirror, but respectfully.
In my room, I removed my jhumkas, my bangles, kept my saree folded properly - like girls do.
I looked in mirror - sweaty, kajal slightly smudged, bindi slightly off - but calm.
Rohan was on leave. Rohini was on duty.
After Women's Day, I came back to my PG in Wakad as Rohini at 8 pm. My roommates were there.
One of them saw me in saree at the gate and shouted, "Bhai, who is this?"
I panicked. I said in my normal boy voice, "Arey, drama tha office me."
I ran to my room, changed quickly to t-shirt pant, removed makeup. But my roommate said, "Rohan, why you have bindi mark? And gajra smell?"
That night I understood - I cannot stay in a boys PG if I want to continue as Rohini. Boys PG has no privacy, no lock on bathroom, and they will ask questions.
I messaged Mrs. Deshpande at 10 pm - "Tai, I can't stay here as Rohini."
She replied in 2 minutes - "I thought about it. Tomorrow morning, vacate. You will shift to Nisha and Fatima's flat. They have a girls PG in Kothrud, 2BHK shared by 3 girls. One girl just left. You will be 3rd. I will talk to owner. Rent I will sponsor from team welfare fund for this month. You are now our responsibility."
I cried that night. Not because I was leaving my PG, but because someone was taking responsibility for me.
Saturday Morning - Shifting
I packed my 2 bags - all my boy clothes - jeans, shirts, Tally books. And one separate bag - my maroon saree, blouse, petticoat, bangles, makeup kit.
At 10 am, Nisha and Fatima came with an auto to my PG. I went as Rohan one last time. Paid my deposit back, said I got transfer.
We went to their flat in Kothrud. It was a nice 2BHK, only for girls. The owner aunty was strict - "No boys allowed after 7 pm."
Mrs. Deshpande had already called her - "My niece Rohini is from Nagpur, very good girl, accounts intern."
Aunty looked at me - I was in boy clothes that morning - short hair, clean shave. She said, "Rohini? You look like boy in this photo?"
Nisha quickly said, "Aunty, she was in drama yesterday, short hair wig."
Aunty said, "Okay, but in this building, you must stay as girl only. No boy dress."
That was the rule. From that moment, Rohan's boy clothes went inside the cupboard, locked. Rohini's clothes came out.
Nisha gave me her old nighty to wear inside house. First time wearing nighty. It was so light, so airy compared to my t-shirt and shorts. I felt cool and calm again, like on 8th March.
Saturday-Sunday - The Full Makeover Weekend
Mrs. Deshpande said - "If Rohini has to work for one month as intern, she has to be fully passable. No one should doubt. So we will do a full transformation, properly, with respect."
She sponsored everything. She said, "Consider it your joining kit."
Saturday Afternoon - Shopping:
We four - me, Nisha, Fatima, Shruti - went to Laxmi Road.
First - innerwear shopping. This was most awkward for me. I had never entered that section. But Nisha made it normal. She said, "Rohini, for saree and office dress, you need proper innerwear, otherwise saree looks bad and you will be uncomfortable whole day. This is not about looking sexy, this is about comfort for 9 hours."
We bought comfortable cotton innerwear sets for daily office wear. The shop lady was also normal, she helped measure size over clothes.
Then - office wear. Mrs. Deshpande had given us 15,000 rs from team fund. "Buy 3-4 good office wear. Rohini will need it."
We bought:
Two cotton kurtis with leggings - one blue, one white
One formal office saree - light grey with small border - for daily use
One more - daily use salwar suit
All in my size. When I wore kurti in trial room, with leggings, I looked like any other IT girl in Kothrud. No one could say.
Sunday - The Final Touches:
Sunday was at Fatima's cousin's beauty parlor in Camp.
Mrs. Deshpande had booked full day.
Morning:
Full facial hair removal - threading and upper lip. It pained, but Fatima held my hand. She said, "All of us do this every 15 days. Pain is part of being a girl."
Eyebrows shaping - first time. My eyebrows were thick like boys. The didi shaped them - thinner, arched. When I saw, my face looked instantly softer.
Ear piercing - I had clip-on earrings before. Now they said if I have to be girl for one month, better get real piercing. I was scared, but Nisha said, "We all have it. One second pain." They pierced both ears with gun. Small gold tops were put. It pained, but I felt happy seeing small tops shining.
Afternoon:
Hair - My hair was short, boy cut. For a girl in office, short boy cut would look odd. So we bought a good quality long hair wig - real hair, black, waist length, with center partition. Not cheap plastic, real hair. Fatima's cousin fixed it with strong wig glue and pins so it won't fall even if I run. When it was fixed, with long hair falling on my back, with gajra removed, I looked completely different. I kept touching my long hair again and again. It felt light, cool on my back.
Evening:
Mrs. Deshpande came to parlor. She saw me - in my new grey saree, long hair wig, small jhumkas, shaped eyebrows, kajal, bindi. She was quiet for a minute.
Then she said, "Rohini, where is Rohan? I can only see my daughter."
I hugged her. I was wearing bangles, so tak tak sound came.
She gave me a small box - inside was a pair of small silver payals - anklets.
She said, "My daughter used to wear this. Now you wear. In our department, all girls wear payal. You are also our girl now."
I wore payal. When I walked in parlor, chan chan sound came. Very light.
We came back to Kothrud flat at night.
In our flat, there is a big mirror. I stood in front of mirror - full look:
Long real hair wig, grey office saree perfectly draped, blouse fitting properly, small bindi, kajal, lipstick, jhumkas, bangles, payal sound.
I was not Rohan trying to be a girl. I was Rohini. A full girl. An intern girl who lives in girls PG, who will go to office tomorrow.
Nisha took my photo and sent to Mrs. Deshpande.
Mrs. Deshpande replied - "Tomorrow, Rohan is officially on leave for one month. Rohini Joshi will join as new Accounts Intern. I have mailed HR. No one will know. Welcome to womanhood, beta."
That night, I slept in Nisha's nighty, in girls PG, with long hair wig kept carefully on stand, with my new office dresses hanging.
Tomorrow was Monday. My first day as full-time Rohini.
After I shifted to the girls PG in Kothrud, Mrs. Deshpande said, "Rohini, if you have to work as a girl for a whole month in office, you need to be comfortable and confident the whole day, not just in saree. For that we need proper base."
What she meant was - as a boy, my body shape is different. Broad shoulders, flat chest, different hip shape. In a saree or kurti, it shows if the base is not right.
So on Sunday, Fatima took me to a shop in Camp that sells full-body shapers for theatre artists and trans women. Not a sexual shop - a costume shop.
We bought two things:
1. A full-body smoothing suit - It was like a very tight inner dress, from shoulder to knee. It had light, natural-looking padding on chest and hips to give a smooth feminine silhouette under saree and kurti. It was not for show, it was for the saree to fall properly. Like how girls wear shapewear. It was comfortable cotton inside, so I could wear it for 9 hours in AC office.
2. A everyday-use panty suit - This was a special seamless panty with extra layers in front for a flat, smooth look, so that in leggings and saree petticoat there is no visible bulge. The shop lady explained it is made for daily office wear and is designed so you can use the washroom normally like any woman - no extra tubes or complicated things, just pull down like normal underwear. It was about practicality, not sexuality.
When I wore the full suit for the first time in our flat, with my blue kurti over it, I looked in mirror - the kurti fell straight, the silhouette was smooth, like any other girl in our office. No awkward shape.
Fatima said, "See, now you look perfect office girl. Not because of body, but because clothes fit properly."
We also did the other final touches that Sunday - long real-hair wig with strong skin-friendly glue so it doesn't move even in bus, and small ear piercing that we already did.
Monday to Friday - The Week I Got Comfortable:
Monday morning, I wore the full suit inside, then my grey office saree. With long hair wig, shaped eyebrows, small bindi, jhumkas.
I took the office bus with Nisha and Fatima. No one in bus doubted me.
In office, I sat at my desk. The suit was tight at first, but after 2 hours I forgot about it. It actually made me feel more secure - I didn't have to worry about my shirt coming out or shape showing. I could focus on work.
Managing washroom was a learning. As a boy, I used to go fast. As Rohini, in saree, with smoothing suit, it takes time. You have to hold pallu, lift saree pleats, manage. Nisha taught me - "Take your time, we all take 5 minutes. It's normal."
By Tuesday, I learned to manage it in 4 minutes.
The suit also helped with confidence. When Sales boys came to Accounts for files, they used to stare at any girl. As Rohan, I never noticed. As Rohini, with proper office wear fitting properly, I felt less conscious because my clothes were fitting like theirs.
By Wednesday, I stopped checking mirror every hour.
I learned small things:
How to sit on office chair in saree - side tuck
How to climb stairs in saree with office bag - lift pleats slightly
How to drink chai without lipstick mark - sip from same side
How to tie payal so it doesn't make too much sound in meeting
By Thursday, Mrs. Deshpande gave me client calling work - something she never gave to Rohan because she thought boys are too rude on phone. As Rohini, I called clients softly, explained GST, they listened.
She said, "See, Rohini handles clients better than Rohan."
By Friday, one week over, I was not "Rohan trying to be girl." I was Rohini.
At night in our girls PG, we would remove office saree, wear nighty, remove wig, massage scalp, talk about office.
Nisha said, "Rohini, you are more girl than many girls in office now."
I felt light, cool, calm - as you said. No weight of being alone boy. I belonged.
Mrs. Deshpande messaged - "One week completed, Rohini. You are comfortable?"
I replied - "Tai, I have never been this comfortable in my 26 years."
It was second Saturday. We had half day in office.
Mrs. Deshpande - I mean Tai - had a Satyanarayan Pooja at her house in Erandwane. She told on Monday itself - "This is ladies pooja. Only my department girls, no gents. So all of you must come in proper silk saree."
She looked at me and said, "Rohini, you also. You are my department daughter."
I was nervous. Office is one thing - everyone knows me as intern girl now. But going to Tai's house, where her family, her relatives will be there - that's real world testing.
Also, there was a practical problem. That full-body smoothing suit I was wearing daily - it was getting very sweaty. Pune March is hot. Wearing that full suit from shoulder to knee for 9 hours in office plus bus travel - I was sweating a lot. Fatima also said - "Rohini, you will get rashes."
So on Thursday evening, Nisha took me again to Camp. We went to same costume shop. We asked for alternative for silk saree functions.
The shop lady showed us silicone breast forms - not for show, but the type that many women who have had surgery or theatre artists use for natural shape under heavy saree. They were soft, skin-colored, with a cotton cover. You wear them inside blouse with normal bra, not full body suit. So less sweating, more natural shape for silk saree, and blouse falls properly.
I bought a pair - medium, natural size, matching my blouse size. Tai had sponsored - she said "For pooja, you need proper traditional look, I will pay."
We also bought a new silk saree - thick maroon with golden border - proper Maharashtrian style, because Tai's pooja was traditional. Nisha helped me choose - "This will look good on you, Rohini."
Friday Evening - Getting Ready:
We all decided to get ready together at our Kothrud flat and go together with gift.
At 4 pm, all 5 of us - Nisha, Fatima, Shruti, Pooja and me - started getting ready.
I wore my new silk saree. First, normal innerwear and bra with silicone forms inside - it gave a natural, smooth shape, not overdone. Then petticoat, then thick silk saree draping - Nisha draped it for me in proper Marathi style with kas.
Then long hair wig - fixed with glue, with gajra.
Makeup - a little more for pooja - dark kajal, maroon bindi, maroon lipstick matching saree.
Jhumkas, bangles, payal.
When I was ready, Shruti said - "Rohini, you look like a proper new bride. Tai's son will keep looking at you."
We all laughed.
We bought gift - a box of pedha and flowers.
At Tai's House - 6 pm:
Tai's house is big, old Pune bungalow. There were already 15-20 ladies - her sisters, sisters-in-law, neighbors, all in silk sarees.
We 5 entered together. Tai saw us and came running - "My Accounts girls came!"
She hugged all of us. When she hugged me, she whispered - "Rohini, you look beautiful in silk. Perfect Marathi mulgi."
We sat for pooja. One hour pooja. I sat with legs folded, managing my heavy silk saree - pallu on head for pooja, as is custom. The silicone forms were comfortable, not sweaty like full suit, and saree was falling perfectly.
After pooja, there was aarti. All ladies were singing. I also sang.
After pooja, dinner was arranged on terrace.
That's when I saw Tai's son. He is 29, works in US, had come for pooja. Tall, handsome, in kurta pajama.
He was helping serve water. When he saw our group, he stopped and looked at me.
I felt conscious. As Rohan, I never had a boy stare at me like that.
He kept looking while serving. He came to our side twice - "Do you need water? Do you need chutney?" - but looking at me.
Nisha noticed and teased me - she whispered in my ear - "Rohini, Tai's son can't stop staring at you. Your magic is working."
Pooja also said - "Rohini, he is single. Tai was looking for bride for him."
I blushed - actually blushed. My face became red. I said - "Shh, don't say like that."
But inside, I felt... strange. For first time, I was being seen as a girl by a boy, not as a boy by girls. It was new feeling - mix of shy and comfortable.
Tai also noticed her son looking. She came and said loudly so he could hear - "Rohini is my new daughter, very good girl from Nagpur, topper in accounts."
Her son smiled and said - "Namaskar, I am Aditya."
I said - "Namaskar, Rohini."
He said - "You drape saree very nicely, like proper Puneri."
I said - "Tai taught me."
All my department girls started teasing me after that - "Rohini, Aditya is asking about you", "Rohini, Tai found you a rishta."
We had dinner - puran poli, katachi amti, bhaji. All of us girls ate together, feeding each other.
At 9:30 pm, we left. Tai gave us all haldi kumkum and a small gift. For me, she gave a small silver bindi box - "For my new daughter."
We took an auto together back to Kothrud. In auto, all girls were teasing - "Rohini, Aditya liked you, he was staring whole time."
I was saying - "No, he was just being nice."
But I was smiling. I was holding my silk saree pallu, feeling my jhumkas, my payal.
That night in our flat, after removing saree and makeup, Nisha said - "Rohini, today you were not intern. You were fully our sister. You went to family function as a girl, and no one doubted. Not even Tai's relatives."
I slept in my nighty, with my new silk saree hung carefully.
One month was going to over in 2 weeks. But after today, I didn't want this to end.
After Tai's pooja, something changed in me.
Till then, I was removing my wig at night in our flat, removing everything and becoming Rohan for few hours.
From that Sunday night, I stopped.
Nisha noticed on Monday morning. I came out of bathroom already in my long hair wig, combed, with small clip.
She said, "Rohini, you slept in wig?"
I said, "No, I wore it just now, but I don't want to remove it at night also now. Glue is strong, it doesn't pain. I feel... empty without long hair. I feel more me with long hair."
Fatima understood. She said, "Many girls feel like that. It's okay. If it is not paining, you can keep it. Just oil your real short hair at night."
Same with office wear base. Earlier I was wearing full-body suit only in office and removing at home. After pooja, I shifted to light, everyday innerwear with natural-shape padding inside bra for daily kurti and saree - because full suit was too hot for Pune summer. The new set was breathable cotton, with soft forms that gave a natural shape under kurti, not overdone. It looked natural, not artificial. And it was comfortable for sitting whole day in office.
By Tuesday, I got fully used to sitting. In first week, I used to adjust saree every 10 minutes. Now I could sit for 2 hours straight, cross my legs like all girls do, manage files, all while in kurti-leggings or saree. I learned how to manage washroom breaks quickly in office - lifting kurti or saree pleats properly, same way Nisha taught me. It became routine, not a big task.
Tai saw this and said, "Rohini, now you don't look like a girl trying to be girl. You look like a girl who has always been a girl."
My walk, my talk, my way of saying "Ho Tai, karte" - everything became natural.
Wednesday - Aditya Comes to Office:
It was Wednesday, 20th March. I was in office in my blue kurti and white leggings, long hair open with small clips, light kajal, small bindi.
We were doing month-end closing. At 11:30 am, reception called - "Accounts, someone has come to meet Mrs. Deshpande."
Tai went out. After 2 minutes, she came back with Aditya - her son.
He had come to office to give some documents to his mother before flying back to US next week.
He was in jeans and shirt. When he entered Accounts department, his eyes searched and stopped on me.
I was standing near printer, taking printout.
He said, "Hey... Rohini? Right? From pooja?"
I became shy instantly. I said, "Ho, Namaskar."
He said, "I didn't know you work here. In pooja you were in silk saree, now in kurti... you look... different, but same long hair, big eyes."
All my department girls started looking at each other and smiling. Nisha made a teasing face.
Aditya talked to his mother for 10 minutes, but his eyes kept coming to me.
Then he came to my desk. He said, "Rohini, I have a small request. Day after tomorrow is my birthday, 22nd March. I have no friends here in Pune now, all are in US. My mother has pooja at home in evening, but day time I am free. Would you... would you like to go out for a day? Like... show me Pune again? I left Pune 5 years ago."
I was shocked. A boy asking me out.
As Rohan, I had never been asked out. As Rohini, this was first time a boy was asking me for a full day.
I looked at Tai. Tai was watching from her cabin.
She came out and said, "Aditya, you are asking my best intern on a working day?"
Aditya said, "Mumma, it's my birthday, please give her leave."
Tai looked at me and smiled. She said, "Rohini, do you want to go? Your choice. No pressure. I will give you leave."
All girls were whispering - "Go, go."
I had never gone out with a boy as a girl.
I said in soft voice, "Ho Tai, if you give leave... I will go."
Aditya's face lit up. He said, "Great, I will pick you at 10 am from Kothrud? Nisha knows my house."
Nisha said, "Yes, we will send her ready."
He left. After he left, whole Accounts department burst.
Shruti - "Rohini, he fell in love with you! He came to office only to see you!"
Pooja - "Rohini, your long hair, your eyes - he was staring non-stop!"
Fatima - "Tai, your daughter-in-law is ready!"
Tai hit Fatima lightly - "Shh, don't say like that. But Rohini, go, enjoy. You have worked hard one month. You deserve one day as a normal girl, not as intern."
That evening, in our flat, all girls did my preparation for birthday date - not as office girl, but as normal girl going out.
Nisha said, "Tomorrow you will wear your white salwar suit, not office kurti. With long hair open, light makeup."
I was nervous, but also feeling very light, very calm, very much like a girl whose first date is tomorrow.
22nd March. Aditya's birthday.
I woke up at 6 am. Our whole Kothrud flat was already awake for me.
Nisha said, "Today you are not our office intern Rohini. Today you are a girl going on her first date."
I wore my white salwar suit with light pink dupatta - the one we bought for office but never wore. Long hair wig - freshly combed, open, with two small clips on side. Not tied in juda. Open long hair for first time.
Makeup - light, not office heavy. Just kajal, small bindi, light pink lipstick. Small jhumkas. My silver payal - chan chan.
I looked in mirror - I looked like any 24-25 year old girl from Pune going out on a birthday date.
At 10 am, Aditya came in his car to our lane. He was in white kurta and jeans.
He saw me coming out of building and he just stopped. He stared.
He said, "Rohini... you look... very beautiful. In pooja you looked like traditional girl, in office like professional girl, today you look like... my girl."
My girl. When he said that, my stomach had butterflies. As Rohan, no one ever called me "my girl". As Rohini, hearing "my girl" for first time, I felt shy, I looked down, I held my dupatta tightly.
Morning - 10:30 am - German Bakery, Koregaon Park:
He took me to German Bakery. We sat outside.
He ordered coffee and bun maska.
As a boy, I would have eaten fast. As Rohini, I was conscious - small sips, holding dupatta, managing long hair when wind came.
He kept staring. He said, "Rohini, your eyes... you have very big, expressive eyes. And your long hair... I have not seen such long hair in US."
When he said that, he lightly touched my hair - just a small strand that was flying - and tucked it behind my ear.
That small touch - first time a boy touched my hair as a girl - I felt current. I felt shy, I blushed, my cheeks became red. I felt like a woman. Someone's woman.
I said softly, "Thanks."
Afternoon - 12:30 pm - Shaniwar Wada and Shopping:
We went to Shaniwar Wada. We walked together. Pune March heat was there.
I was walking in salwar, dupatta, payal sound. He walked beside me, very close. Sometimes his hand would brush my hand while walking. As Rohan, if a boy's hand brushed, I would not care. As Rohini, every brush felt like spark.
At one place, crowd pushed. He held my hand to save me from falling. He held my hand - soft, small hand with bangles - in his big hand.
He didn't leave my hand after crowd went. He held it. And I didn't take it back. We walked holding hands, like bf gf do.
All people around were seeing us as a couple. A boy and a girl holding hands. No one doubted I was a boy. I was his girl.
He said, "Rohini, are you comfortable? Your hand is so soft and small."
I said, "Ho... I mean yes."
We went to FC Road for shopping. He wanted to buy gift for his mother. He asked me - "Rohini, which saree will look good on my mother?"
I was choosing sarees, showing him, draping on my body to show - "This color Tai will like."
Shopkeeper said, "Madam has good taste. Sir, your girlfriend has good taste."
Girlfriend. When shopkeeper said girlfriend, Aditya looked at me and smiled. I looked down, smiling.
We felt like real couple.
Evening - 5 pm - At his house:
Tai had called me in morning - "Rohini, today is Aditya's birthday, evening we have small cake cutting at home, only family. You come with him. Take this pooja thali and do his aarti, like we do for birthday boy. Consider it as... you are part of family."
She had given me a small steel thali with kumkum, rice, small diya.
So at 5:30 pm, we went to his house in Erandwane.
House was decorated - only Tai, her husband, two aunts, and us.
Tai saw me holding Aditya's hand and smiled.
She said, "Rohini, do Aditya's aarti."
I took the thali, my hands were shivering. Bangles were making sound. I applied kumkum tilak on his forehead, then rice, then did aarti with diya - like a girl does for her... someone special.
All ladies clapped. Tai's eyes were wet.
Then cake cutting. Aditya cut cake. First piece he fed to his mother, second piece... he fed to me.
He put cake near my mouth - "Rohini, open mouth."
I opened, he fed me. Cream touched my lipstick. He wiped it with his thumb - very soft touch near my lips.
Everyone went "Ooooh" teasing.
I felt like I am someone's girl. Not alone boy from Nagpur. Someone's girl.
Night - 9 pm - Goodbye:
After dinner, he said he will drop me back to Kothrud.
In car, we were quiet. We reached my building lane. It was dark.
He stopped car. He said, "Rohini, today was my best birthday in 5 years. Because you were with me. I don't know... I feel very close to you. Like I have known you for long. Will you... will you be my girlfriend? Proper?"
I was looking down, playing with my dupatta. My heart was beating fast, payal was still on my legs, long hair was falling on my face.
I said, "Aditya... I have never been someone's girlfriend. I don't know how to be... but with you today, I felt for first time I am a woman. I felt light, I felt safe, I felt like someone's girl. I want to feel like that everyday."
He held my both hands.
He said, "You are already a woman, Rohini. The most beautiful woman I met in Pune."
Then he leaned and gave me a goodbye kiss - not on lips, on my forehead, very softly, over my bindi.
That forehead kiss - I closed my eyes. I felt warm, I felt protected, I felt like a girl who is loved.
He said, "Goodnight, my Rohini."
I came up to flat. All girls were waiting. Nisha saw my face and said, "Rohini, you are glowing. What happened?"
I just hugged her and said, "Today I felt I am really a woman. Someone's woman."
That night I slept with long hair open, with his goodbye kiss still feeling on my forehead.
After his birthday, Aditya's flight to US was postponed by one week - his mother said "some work pending". But we all knew why.
From 23rd March, our chatting started.
Day 1 Chat:
He saved my number as "Rohini ❤️"
First message from him at 9:13 pm:
Aditya: Hi Rohini. Pohochli ka ghari safe?
Me: Ho Aditya, pohochle. Tu?
Aditya: Ho. Pan mala tuzya sobat ajun bolaychay. Zोप yet nahi.
Me: Mala pan...
Aditya: Aga Rohini, tu khup sundar disat hotis kal white dress madhe. Maza full day best kela tu.
Me: Shh... asa bolu nako, mala laj watate. 😳
Aditya: Laj watli ki tu ajun sundar distes. Tuza payal cha awaj ajun majya kanat aahe.
Me: Ayy... tu khup flirt kartos. Puneri mulga na, ekdam.
Aditya: Puneri mulga, ani tu Puneri mulgi. Perfect jodi.
I was in our Kothrud flat, sitting on bed, hiding phone from Nisha. My cheeks were fully red. I was smiling alone. Fatima saw me and said - "Aga Rohini, phone madhe ghusun basli, kon ahe? Aditya ka?"
I said - "Nahi ga, Tai cha message."
But I was blushing like anything.
Late Night Phone Talks - 11:30 pm to 1 am daily:
After that, we started talking on phone every night. After 11:30 pm, when Nisha and Fatima slept.
He would call - "Zalis ka free?"
I would go to balcony in my nighty, long hair open, with phone.
Aditya: Kay kartey?
Me: Kahi nahi, tumchi vaat baghat hote.
Aditya: Aga kay boltes? Khara?
Me: Ho... divas bhar tumcha vichar yetoy.
Aditya: Maza pan. Office madhe pan tuza vichar. Rohini, ek vicharu?
Me: Hmm?
Aditya: Tu... tu mala khara avadtes. Girlfriend mhanun. Tuza long hair, tuze mothhe dolhe, tuza soft nature... mi US la gele tari tuzya sobatch rahin ka?
I would hide my face in dupatta even though he can't see.
Me: Aditya, mala pan tu khup avadatos. Pan mi... mi khup simple mulgi ahe, accounts intern... tu US la astos...
Aditya: Aga simple mhanjech best. Mala US cha fancy nako, mala tu havi ahes. Majhi Puneri bai.
Me: Ayy, bai mhantoy? Mi bai disate ka?
Aditya: Tu bai nahi, tu porgi ahes, majhi porgi. Majhi Rohini.
That word - "Majhi Rohini" - every time he said, I got butterflies in stomach. Full butterfly feeling.
Nisha would wake up - "Aga Rohini, 1 vajla, konashi boltes? Zop na."
I would say - "Tai shi, accounts cha kaam."
But I was talking to my boyfriend.
Teasing - Puneri Style:
We started teasing like typical Pune couple.
One day he sent photo of his kurta:
Aditya: Ha kurta kasa distoy? Tuzya sathi ghatla hota pooja la.
Me: Ekdam hero distoy. Pan shirt cha button lav, chati distiye. 😏
Aditya: Aga tu baghtes mazi chati?
Me: Chiiii... gappa. Mi nahi baghat. Tuza payal baghte ka mi?
Aditya: Aga tu payal ghaltes, mi vedach hoto. Chan chan awaj.
Me: Mag mi roz ghalu ka tumchya sathi?
Aditya: Roz ghal, ani roz majhya samorun chal.
Me: Laj watate mala... 😳😳
Aditya: Lajli ki tu ajun bhari distes.
Another night:
Aditya: Rohini, ek secret sangu?
Me: Sangu?
Aditya: Mi Aai la sangitla tuzya baddal.
Me: Kay??? Aai la??? Kay mhantli Tai?
Aditya: Aai mhantli - Rohini khup changli mulgi ahe, sanskari ahe, mala avadli. Jar tu US la nahi gela tari chalel, Rohini la ithech thev.
Me: Khara??? Tai khara mhantli?
I was jumping on bed silently.
Me: Mag... mag pudhe?
Aditya: Pudhe kay? Tu majhi bayko zali tar?
When he said "bayko", my heart stopped.
Me: Aditya... bayko?
Aditya: Ho, bayko. Mrs. Rohini Aditya Deshpande. Kasa vatel?
I closed eyes and imagined - me in red nauvari saree, long hair with gajra, sitting next to him in his house, Tai calling me "Sune", doing aarti of him every morning like I did on his birthday.
Me: Aditya, mi... mi khup lahan swapna baghte. Mi fakt tumchi girlfriend pan nahi, mi tumchi bayko... mala vichar karun pan laj watate.
Aditya: Aga lajayla kay zala? Puneri bayko lajli ki ghar shobhte.
Me: Ho ka? Mag mi roz lajel tumchya sathi.
Aditya: Roz laj, ani mi roz tula hasvel.
I slept that night hugging my pillow, imagining his house, his room, me as his wife, wearing saree, making chai for him, him calling me "Rohini, chaha de ga".
For first time in 26 years, as Rohan I never imagined myself as husband. As Rohini, I was imagining myself as wife. And it felt right. It felt light, cool, calm, and full of butterflies.
After Aditya proposed that night - "Will you be my wife?" - I couldn't sleep.
Next morning in office, Tai called me to her cabin.
Tai said, "Rohini, Aditya told me everything. He wants to take you to US after marriage. But you are still on intern papers as Rohini, and officially you are Rohan on long leave. We have to decide now. What do you want?"
I started crying in her cabin.
I said, "Tai, how can I go to US? How can I marry? I am still a boy on paper. My parents in Nagpur... they think Rohan is working in Pune. If I tell them I am Rohini now, they will... I don't know."
I was scared. Middle-class Nagpur family. Father is MSEB clerk. What will they say if their son says he wants to be daughter?
Tai held my hand. She said, "Rohini, listen. I am 48, I have seen many girls. I have never seen a boy become such a good girl as you. You are not acting. You are living as girl. You feel light, cool, calm as girl - you told me. You feel someone's girl with Aditya. That's not acting.
Aditya is serious. He told me - I don't care if Rohini was Rohan before, I love Rohini as she is now. He is ready to wait. He is going back to US for 15 days for work, then he will come back.
In these 15 days, you have to decide - do you want to go back to being Rohan, alone boy in boys PG, or do you want to stay as Rohini, our daughter, Aditya's future wife?"
I said, "I want to stay as Rohini, Tai. I have never been happy as Rohan. As Rohini I am happy. But my parents..."
Tai said, "Your parents I will handle. I will call them as your HoD. I will tell them their son is very talented and has got opportunity to work as woman for inclusion project and now he wants to live as woman permanently. Give me their number."
That evening, Tai called my parents on video call. I was there in my white salwar, long hair, as Rohini.
My mother first didn't recognize me. She said - "Rohan? Tu... tu mulgi kas kahi disatoy?"
My father was quiet.
Tai explained everything - how Rohan was alone, how he became Rohini in Accounts, how sincere he is, how happy he is now, and how her son Aditya wants to marry Rohini.
My mother cried. My father said - "Amcha Rohan... amchi Rohini zali?"
I said in Marathi - "Aai, Baba, mi Rohan astana khup ekta hoto. Pune madhe koni navta. Tai chya department madhe mulgi zalya var mala ghar milala. Mi khup khush ahe mulgi mhanun. Mala asach rahaychay."
My mother said after long silence - "Rohan... Rohini... tu khush ahes ka khara?"
I said - "Ho Aai, khup khush."
My father said - "Jar tu khush asel, tar amhi pan khush. Amhala mulga hota, ata mulgi asel. Chalel."
That one line - I cried a lot.
After that call, Tai said - "Now next step is yours. If you want to live as Rohini forever, you should go through proper medical process with doctors. This is big decision, not small. You have to talk to doctors, counselors, take proper advice. Aditya is in US for 15 days, that's your time to think and consult."
In those 15 days, I took leave from office. I stayed in our girls flat. I met counselors, doctors at a proper hospital in Pune with Tai. Not in detail here, but proper consultation, counseling, medical evaluation - as per process.
Tai and Nisha were with me every day. They said - "We are your family now."
By end of 15 days, I had taken my decision with full medical advice and family support. Doctors said I can proceed with gender affirmation process to live as my true self.
Aditya came back from US on 16th day. When he came to our flat, I was in my blue kurti, long hair, with payal.
He saw me and said - "My Rohini is still here."
I said - "Your Rohini will always be here."
Tai called whole department next day in office. She announced - "Our intern Rohini Joshi is now permanent. Rohan Joshi has resigned and Rohini has joined as Junior Accounts Executive. And next month, she will be our future Accounts Head."
All girls clapped and teased - "Aga future Accounts Head, Aditya's wife!"
Pooja said - "Rohini, you came as intern, now you will be Tai's sune and our Head."
I was blushing, hiding face in dupatta.
All were happy. My parents called and said - "Rohini, Nagpur la kadhi yetes?"
I said - "Aai, lagna la gheun yenar, Aditya sobat."
Part ends here. Rohan's journey over. Rohini's permanent life started.
After I decided to stay as Rohini forever, with Tai's support and my parents' blessing, I went through the proper medical process with doctors in Pune. I underwent gender affirmation procedure. Tai and Nisha were with me. In 10 days I recovered in our Kothrud flat - girls took care of me like own sister - soup, medicine, helping me walk.
After recovery, I looked in mirror - this time no wig glue, no forms needed. My long hair was now fixed properly - real long hair, my own, grown with treatment, not wig. My body was now fully girl body. When I wore my blue kurti, it fitted naturally, without any extra suit.
Nisha said, "Rohini, now you don't need any costume. You are real Rohini."
For first time, I felt fully light. No sweaty suit, no wig pain. Just me.
After recovery, I went to Nagpur for preparation. My train was at 8 pm from Pune.
I wore my white salwar with pink dupatta, long real hair open, small jhumkas. I took window seat.
When train crossed Nagpur border next morning, my heart was beating.
Last time I went to Nagpur, 6 months ago, I went as Rohan - boy with jeans, t-shirt, short hair, mustache, coming home as son.
This time I was going as Rohini - daughter with long hair, salwar, bangles, payal.
My Aai and Baba were waiting at Nagpur station. They had not seen me as Rohini in real, only on video call.
When I got down, my Aai searched for Rohan. She didn't recognize.
I said, "Aai..."
She turned. She saw a girl with long hair, with suitcase, calling her Aai.
She froze for 2 seconds. Then she came running and hugged me.
"Aga Rohini... majhi mulgi... ali..."
She hugged me so tightly, my bangles broke one. She was crying.
My Baba also came. He is a very strict man, MSEB clerk, never shows emotion. He saw me in salwar, long hair, as daughter. He just put hand on my head and said - "Aga Rohini, ghari jau. Tujhi Aai ne puran poli keli ahe tujhya sathi."
At home in Nagpur - our small house in Dharampeth - whole colony was excited. They had heard - "Gawande's son has become daughter and is returning from Pune."
My Aai had told only close relatives - "Majha mulga ata mulgi zala, Rohini zali."
Some aunties came - they were curious. They saw me in salwar, helping my Aai in kitchen, making chai with long hair tied in ponytail. One aunty said - "Ag Rohini, tu agdi Aai sarkhi distes, same eyes."
I felt so happy - in Pune office I was intern girl, in Kothrud flat I was sister, but in Nagpur home I was daughter. Real daughter.
Things changed at home:
Earlier as Rohan, my father never allowed me in kitchen - "Mulga kitchen madhe kay karto." Now as Rohini, he said - "Rohini, Aai la help kar, chaklya karayla shik."
My mother earlier used to say - "Rohan, jasti bolu nako." Now she says - "Rohini, Aditya la phone kela ka? Jijajila bolaychay."
My small brother who is in 12th - earlier he used to fight with me - "Dada, remote de." Now he says - "Tai, maza maths shikav na, tu accounts head ahes na."
Every relation changed from son/brother to daughter/sister. And it felt natural, not forced.
I spent 15 days in Nagpur - shopping for wedding. Aai took me to Sitabuldi for saree shopping.
We bought my wedding saree - red Paithani nauvari saree, with green border. When I tried it in shop, with long real hair, with bindi, my Aai cried - "Majhi mulgi khup sundar distiye, konachi najar lagel."
My father bought gold - small nath, mangalsutra.
Aditya and Tai's family were coming after 15 days. Date fixed - 10th May. Small function, only family, not big hall - in our Nagpur house and small temple.
Aditya used to video call daily:
Aditya: Kay kartey majhi bayko?
Me: Aai la help kartey, puran poli shiktey tumchya sathi.
Aditya: Aga Rohini, tu Nagpur la jaun ajun sundar zalis. Long hair khup chhan distay.
Me: Tumchya sathi wadhavle.
Aditya: Lavkar ye, majhi vaat baghtoy.
I would blush and Aai would tease - "Aga Rohini, jijaji la bolun zala ka? Lajli ka?"
That feeling - being teased as daughter about son-in-law - I never felt as Rohan. As Rohini, I felt it. I felt butterfly feeling every time.
Tai also called - "Rohini, sune, tayari zali ka?"
I said - "Ho Tai, Aai... I mean Sasubai..."
She laughed - "Aga ata pasun Sasubai bol."
One night, my Aai came to my room. She put oil in my long real hair, like she used to when I was small but as Rohan I refused. Now as Rohini, I sat down and she oiled my hair.
She said - "Rohini, tu khush ahes na? Khara sang."
I said - "Ho Aai, mi kadhi Rohan astana evdhi khush navte. Mulgi zalya var khush ahe."
She said - "Mag bas. Amhala dusra kahi nako."
In 15 days, my Nagpur house changed from son's house to daughter's house. My room - earlier blue walls with cricket posters - now had my sarees, my bangles, my makeup kit, my payal sound.
I was waiting for Aditya and Tai to come. My wedding date was coming close.
10th May, Nagpur. My wedding day.
My house in Dharampeth was full since morning. My Aai woke up at 4 am.
Morning Preparation - 5 am to 9 am:
I sat in my room, which was now fully decorated as bride's room.
My Aai and my two aunts helped me.
First - haldi bath. My mother applied haldi paste on my face, hands, legs. Cold haldi, but all ladies were singing Marathi songs - "Hळदी लागली..."
Then - makeup. My cousin who works in beauty parlor did it.
She did:
Base makeup light, because it's morning wedding
Thick kajal, eyeliner wing
My eyebrows - already shaped - filled slightly
Maroon bindi - big round for wedding
Lipstick - dark maroon matching my Paithani
Nose ring - small nath, Maharashtrian style
Then - hair. This was special for me. Earlier I had wig, then short hair. Now I have my own real long thick hair after treatment.
My Aai combed my long hair - which is now waist-length, thick, black.
She made a long thick braid - three-part braid, with gajra and golden hair accessories. When she was making braid, pulling my hair, I felt like a real Maharashtrian bride. My braid was so thick, it was touching my waist.
My Aai said - "Rohini, tuzya kesan varun najar nako lagayla, evdhe lamb, ghandat kes konala nastat."
Then - saree draping. My wedding saree - red Paithani nauvari with green border, with kashta. My aunt is expert in nauvari draping.
She draped it - first petticoat, then kashta, then pallu. My blouse was red silk, stitched perfectly by my Aai's tailor - with proper fitting, with hooks at back. When I wore blouse, it fitted smoothly, like any bride's blouse should. It gave me proper traditional shape, not tight, not loose - comfortable for whole day rituals. I felt confident, like a proper bride.
When full saree was draped, with braid, with nath, with bangles - green and red - with payal, with mangalsutra not yet tied - I looked in mirror.
I didn't see Rohan. I didn't see intern Rohini. I saw a bride. A Marathi bride.
I started crying. My Aai said - "Aga rडू nako, makeup kharab hoil."
Mandir - 10 am:
We went to small temple in Dharampeth. Only 40 people - my parents, Tai, Aditya's father, Nisha, Fatima, Shruti, Pooja from Pune.
Aditya was waiting in white kurta, red pheta.
When I entered with my Aai, holding my nauvari pallu, with long braid, Aditya just stared. He whispered - "Rohini, you look like dream."
Pandit started mantras.
Every ritual as a woman, as a bride, I felt deeply:
Kanyadaan: My father doing kanyadaan of his daughter. Last year he did my brother's thread ceremony as father of son. Today he was doing kanyadaan as father of daughter. He was crying.
Mangalsutra: Aditya tied mangalsutra around my neck. Black beads with gold vati. When he tied, his hands touched my neck. I felt shiver. I felt - I am now someone's wife. Mrs. Rohini Aditya Deshpande. That thread - small thread - changed my relation.
Sindoor: He applied sindoor in my hair partition - in my long braid partition. Red sindoor on black hair. When he applied, all ladies said - "Suvasini zali."
I felt that sindoor feeling - like I am marked as married woman, like all married women in temple. I touched my head, felt sindoor.
Saptapadi: Seven rounds around fire, holding Aditya's hand, with my nauvari kashta, with my payal sound chan chan, with my bangles tak tak. Each round, pandit said - you will be together in happiness, sadness.
After 7 rounds, we were husband-wife.
All girls from Pune shouted - "Rohini vahini!"
Tai came and hugged me - "Majhi sune ali."
My Aai cried - "Majhi mulgi ata sasari janar."
What I felt as a bride:
As Rohan, I never understood what bride feels. As Rohini, I understood.
I felt:
Heavy saree, but light heart
Pain in legs from standing, but happiness that I am bride
Shy when everyone stares at bride
Proud when Aditya says "my wife"
Emotional when Aai cries
Calm when Aditya holds my hand tightly and says "I am here"
I felt every ritual as a woman - not as a boy wearing saree. As a woman whose life is starting new.
After wedding, we went home. My mother did my oti bharna - filling my pallu with rice, coconut.
She said - "Rohini, sasari khush raha."
I said - "Ho Aai."
At evening, we took train to Pune. I was in same red Paithani nauvari, with mangalsutra, sindoor in braid, with bangles.
In train, Aditya kept his hand on my hand whole journey. He said - "Welcome home, Mrs. Deshpande."
I rested my head on his shoulder, with my long thick braid falling on his lap.
Rohan's story ended in Nagpur station 6 months ago. Rohini's story as wife started today.
After Nagpur wedding, we came to Pune same night by train. I was still in my red Paithani nauvari, with long thick braid, mangalsutra, sindoor, green-red bangles.
It was 10 pm when we reached Erandwane bungalow - Tai's house, now my house also.
Gruhapravesh - Entering New House:
Tai was waiting at door with aarti thali. She said - "Sune, welcome."
She did my aarti, applied kumkum on my forehead. She said - "Rohini, right leg first."
I entered with right leg, with my payal chan chan sound. As I entered, I knocked a small pot of rice with my foot - as per ritual - rice fell. All ladies clapped - "Lakshmi ali ghari."
Inside house, there was small rangoli of my name - "Rohini" written with flowers.
My Aai and Baba from Nagpur were also there - they came by car.
Tai's husband - my Sasare - blessed me - "Khush raha, Rohini."
Teasing and Games - 10:30 pm to 12 am:
After dinner, all ladies - Nisha, Fatima, Shruti, Pooja, Tai's sisters - gathered in hall for games.
They do these games for new bride to make her comfortable and to tease.
Game 1 - Ring Finding: In a big thali with milk and rose petals, they put a ring. Me and Aditya had to find it. Who finds first, will dominate house.
They put our hands together in thali. My hand with red bangles, his hand big. Water was cold, rose petals soft. Our hands touched inside water. He was deliberately losing, letting me find. I found ring. All ladies shouted - "Rohini jinkli! Rohini will be head of house!"
Aditya smiled - "Ho, she is already my head."
I blushed fully, looking down, my braid falling forward.
Game 2 - Aeki Beki: They asked me - "Rohini, tell name of your husband without taking his name, in a funny way."
I was shy. Nisha whispered - "Say something romantic in Marathi."
I said in low voice - "Mazya lamb kesanche karan... Aditya."
All burst laughing - "Ayy, Rohini lajli!"
Aditya was staring at me continuously.
After games, Tai said - "Chala, mulanna zopu dya, khup thaklet."
It was 12:30 am. Whole day I was in nauvari, standing, rituals, train journey. I was very tired. My legs were paining from payal, my head paining from heavy braid and nath.
First Night - Our Room:
Aditya's room was decorated - bed with rose petals, lights dim, gajra smell.
He closed door slowly. I was standing near window, in my red Paithani nauvari, with mangalsutra shining, sindoor in braid partition.
He came near me. He said - "Rohini, thaklis ka?"
I said - "Ho, khup..."
He said - "Bas ithe."
He made me sit on bed. He sat beside me. He slowly removed my nath first - "This must be paining."
Then he removed my heavy hair pins from braid, one by one, so my scalp relaxes.
He said - "Your long thick braid is very beautiful, but it must be heavy."
When he removed pins, my braid became loose, hair opened slightly.
He said - "Rohini, today morning you were Nagpur's daughter, now you are my wife. How are you feeling?"
I said - "Aditya, I am feeling... I never felt this in 26 years. As Rohan I was always alone. Today as Rohini, I have Aai, Baba, Tai, you... I feel complete as a woman. I feel like I belong to someone."
He held my hands - my hands with red bangles and mehendi.
He said - "You belong to me, Rohini. My wife."
He kissed my hands - where mehendi was - very softly.
Then he kissed my forehead - on my bindi and sindoor.
I closed eyes. That forehead kiss after whole day tiredness felt like peace.
We talked for one hour - sitting on bed, with my head on his shoulder, his arm around my nauvari pallu.
He said - "Rohini, you know, when I first saw you in office in blue kurti with long hair, I thought - this girl is different. She has big eyes, soft voice, but very strong inside. I fell in love then."
I said - "Aditya, when you held my hand in Shaniwar Wada, first time a boy held my hand as a girl, I felt I am really a girl. Someone's girl."
We were tired, but happy tired.
He said - "Zopaychay?"
I said - "Ho."
He switched off big light, switched on small night lamp.
We lay down - I was still in saree, but pallu loosened, braid opened and kept aside.
He covered us with blanket. He hugged me from side - soft hug, protective hug, like husband hugs wife after long wedding day.
My head was on his chest, his hand on my braid.
He said - "Goodnight, Mrs. Rohini Aditya Deshpande."
I said - "Goodnight, Aditya."
With his heartbeat sound, with my payal still making small sound when I moved legs, with my mangalsutra touching his chest, I slept.
First time in my life, I slept not as alone boy Rohan in boys PG, but as someone's wife, in my husband's house, in my husband's arms, as a woman.
My journey from Rohan to Rohini was complete.
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